I have led a pretty much drug and alcohol abuse free life for about 22 years. I lost a few friends and family members to it. Many of my closest friends live fairly sober lives. I am not preaching sobriety, but the friends that never let me down and that I can depended on at least try to keep sober (or they are). What does being sober give you? Eventually you will learn what love is (possibly, if you open your mind to the world not being just about yourself too). You can still enjoy your black metal and pagan thoughts too. You may learn to find balance between good and bad (or Heaven and Hell... you know what I mean.) You still need to vent stress now and then (for me I like some good hard rock music now and then and some good art books, but that's just me.) Food remains my big challenge now, but with small steps I am finding balance, but I am very sure I will never be Normal. That does not make me special. I am not alone in being abnormal. (and that is good.) I have a few support groups and therapists to get me in this healthier, happier direction. This help works if you trust in others and open up to the idea (again) that it is not just about you, and that others have the same feelings and problems you do, and that is a group or with others you heal better than just on your own. Don't give up the fight. Rage against the dying of the light! Peace be with you. (Maybe I am Normal? Nope, I am Scott Aicher.)
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