My Great Aunt, Doris Nelson

I have been helping my family looking after my aunt Doris Nelson this week. She is almost ready to make her leap to the next level. She was an English Professor at Long Beach State for many years. She has always helped others her whole life and fought for human rights. I am humbled by the life lessons I have learned this last week. She was always very outspoken and wrote political poetry (which she often recited at family gatherings) often they had a humor to them and always from a democrats point of view. She told me this week her hero was Nelson Mandela. She said he was the most important man alive right now. (We had to keep his passing a secret for awhile) She wanted to watch the movie (after she learned he had passed), but I did not have a way for her to see it so I painted her a painting of him with the word "Nelson" above him (They shared that name she said) She was so happy at the time she kissed it and she lit up like a school girl in that moment. She is slowing down more each day now. It is hard for me some days to know how to let go of things beyond my control. I have learned that this type of lesson in front of me is that you find the strength to handle the situation when you are in the moment. I have found some kind of calm while those around are too stressed to manage the present care she needs. She has taken a few falls while my family members have been watching her. They have been feeling so much self guilt for the situation and to them I say like a wise man once told me "don't sweat the small stuff" the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Forgive yourself and do the best you can is all we can do. Just when I think it's all about my family I get the news that Ron Asheton (a rock and roll hero of mine) has passed and we had an earthquake. Powerful forces much greater than me are speaking and I am doing my best to understand the lesson. One thing is certain... I am not alone in this universe. I knew this week was going to get rough so a few weeks back I went toy shopping, but I left behind a big Adam West Batman figure I wanted because I knew it was not time for me yet. This week I ordered it because I am going to need some kind of "Me" thing to keep me mentally on the ground. (I had to make it some kind of non-food related reward to keep on track with my new healthier path... only I can fix the fitness of my body.) I am trying to be strong, but some times you just get weak and when that time comes I will find a quite place to let the rain fall. Maybe Batman will help me then too. Hold and hug those you love. The love you take is equal to the love you make....