I have witnessed much turmoil this past month helping my Aunt Doris get to a more comfortable place (she is about 95). I have been really getting down on myself and getting angry which I thought was due to stress... and yes partly, but I noticed (my whole family noticed) Doris's OCD because we had to go thorough her things and some of my family has had a hard time throwing out stuff that is just junk. This process really drains you. I have wanted to just call salvation army, but some of the family claim it all has value. Then one of my family members pointed out there was a buy 1 get 3 sale on canvas at the art store. So I ran down there real fast and bought a horde load of canvas. I do need it, but I just cleaned out my studio and all that new canvas was blocking my bike (which I should be riding) so I turned on TV and watched Horders for a bit and made a plan to get all that new stuff to fit in my studio the next day (which is today) and after a day of de-cluttering I am done, but I see my own OCD very clearly now. All this should be saved for my therapist, but I am blogging it to just own it, forgive myself and move forward. In my diet class last week I had re-committed to getting in 4 days of exercise and I did, so weigh in should go well this week. (Hey diet class, drink your water!) Many in my family are uneasy with this new me. I have new energy and they (Intentionally or unintentionally) find ways of sabotaging me. Well I can say I have come too far to look back, and if they don't like it they need to get out of my way. I love them, but I have to claim my life. It is mine. Claimed! (do you watch walking dead? Then you get that joke) I tried to give up before and now I say to you all I am going to fight until I drop. I need the love of my family, most of all the love of my wife.... who's with me? Don't let them tell you that you can't. The world is yours! Love to you all, Scott
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| The Canvas Horde |
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| All Tucked Away |
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| Bike is clear and ready to ride! |
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