Daily Affirmation March 17, 2014

I have a lot to look forward to. I just got a few records in the mail of a record cover I designed for a band called High Anxiety and that is a real cool thing to be proud of (and I am). I have the Code Blue book I did with Jack Grisham which is going to have a cool release party (it will be a fun night) I just sent the (code blue book) poster over to Steve at the San Pedro Art Assoc. to have it framed up right so I can have it for my display at Aicher's Pop Kustom Shoppe when the books get in. I did some online shopping so I will be looking on the porch for some new music and toys soon. The Prometheus soundtrack should be fun to paint with. Also got some CCR, New Eels and new Beck to get my groove on, but I am really stoked to be getting this figure I call "Batwest" a new Huge Adam West Batman figure (or call it a doll if you want... it is pretty big) I think it will give me some mojo juice. The real thing I am all giddy about is the upcoming Batman 66 TV series dvd box set which is due out sometime this year. The first memory (earliest) I can recall is when my family lived in an apartment complex in Hawthorne, CA my grandma owned. I was about 1 or 2 years old (1969? ...maybe 68) It was Halloween and 2 kids came to the door dressed in store bought Batman and Robin costumes. (My mom claims that it was my 2 uncles who lived next door) I have never forgot the colors on the show. I remember Batman, then the Monkees, then Brady Bunch before dinner on TV. All those colors! I still have lots of painting to do but for now I need to play some red ball toss with Chet and look at the plants in the backyard.

My Great Aunt, Doris Nelson

I have been helping my family looking after my aunt Doris Nelson this week. She is almost ready to make her leap to the next level. She was an English Professor at Long Beach State for many years. She has always helped others her whole life and fought for human rights. I am humbled by the life lessons I have learned this last week. She was always very outspoken and wrote political poetry (which she often recited at family gatherings) often they had a humor to them and always from a democrats point of view. She told me this week her hero was Nelson Mandela. She said he was the most important man alive right now. (We had to keep his passing a secret for awhile) She wanted to watch the movie (after she learned he had passed), but I did not have a way for her to see it so I painted her a painting of him with the word "Nelson" above him (They shared that name she said) She was so happy at the time she kissed it and she lit up like a school girl in that moment. She is slowing down more each day now. It is hard for me some days to know how to let go of things beyond my control. I have learned that this type of lesson in front of me is that you find the strength to handle the situation when you are in the moment. I have found some kind of calm while those around are too stressed to manage the present care she needs. She has taken a few falls while my family members have been watching her. They have been feeling so much self guilt for the situation and to them I say like a wise man once told me "don't sweat the small stuff" the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Forgive yourself and do the best you can is all we can do. Just when I think it's all about my family I get the news that Ron Asheton (a rock and roll hero of mine) has passed and we had an earthquake. Powerful forces much greater than me are speaking and I am doing my best to understand the lesson. One thing is certain... I am not alone in this universe. I knew this week was going to get rough so a few weeks back I went toy shopping, but I left behind a big Adam West Batman figure I wanted because I knew it was not time for me yet. This week I ordered it because I am going to need some kind of "Me" thing to keep me mentally on the ground. (I had to make it some kind of non-food related reward to keep on track with my new healthier path... only I can fix the fitness of my body.) I am trying to be strong, but some times you just get weak and when that time comes I will find a quite place to let the rain fall. Maybe Batman will help me then too. Hold and hug those you love. The love you take is equal to the love you make....

Imagination is more important than knowledge...

....a wise man once said, and I try to stay inspired to feed my imagination and in doing so I expand and grow. I collect things to keep me stoked on life. Some times I get a bit obsessed. I often buy back toys that I had years ago, but this time I was digging thru my old things and found a survivor for my youth. My old Major Matt Mason. He is pretty beat up. Wires poke out of his rubber legs. I peeled off some of his uniform paint when I was young. My mom bought him at a yard sale for me along with his space crawler, jet pack, a bunch of other MMM accessories, and my fave part, his white space helmet with transparent yellow visor! This toy was from the 60's and it was the early seventies by then. My mom would give me toys now and then that I assume were passed down from my uncles now and then. I had "The King Ding" which was a robot from a line of robots called "the Ding-a-lings" (I researched it) and a Marx wind up "Mr. Machine" Robot... one day they were gone, just like my Matt Mason collection, sold I assume at a yard sale my mom had (we had sold our house and were moving that week) and off to see new frontiers, but somehow Matt himself made it out alive, and there he was on my self and very dusty. I had some funds from a job left over so I went to the interweb for some fun. I located an old crawler that had battle damage from space missions and presumably the motor no longer worked, but the price was nice, and who knows....this may have been my old actual old crawler. I had been bidding for a long time on these, but this time the planets lined up and I won it. It was such a deal that I had a bit left over and decided to try for a helmet too. It took about 2 more months to find a complete helmet (it was a bit scratched, but that was what I wanted "period correct!") and last week it came in the mail. Sometimes getting back these toys are too pricey and really, I don't want to clutter my studio all up, and I was trying (awhile ago, when I had a better income) to buy back the toys of my youth.... well you can't always go home as they say, and back then I was trying to fill and endless hole with things I thought I had to have back. A friend had said to me then, "someday it will be you alone in a room full of toys..." now I can say "not bloody likely" to that, but some days being a consumer is o.k. This time I don't look back, but celebrate my recent return to form and continued successful path. For a bit I thought about restoring Matt's paint and fixing him up but I settled on leaving him with his patina. Not many remember this short lived toy because he was part of the space race and they wanted him to have a "clean" space feeling, and when they introduced "enemy space monsters" to the toy line people freaked out and they stopped production. Tom Hanks is said to be making a movie now and "The Outer Space Men" toy line (the bad guys) has been re lived with pricey new re issue toys. Will Matt make it back to Earth? I am glad my Matt stayed in my orbit. Now I just need some computer chips for my Steve Austin's bionic arms (we can rebuild him... we have the technology). If my mom had not cleaned out my room I would not have had this much fun (so Mom... thanks for making my youth fun! You are out of this world and really far out!) Life's a Gas! Keep your head in the clouds and keep reaching for the stars!

Amazing Long Beach Inspiration Feild Trip 2

 Stuck between the trucks on the 710 freeway...

 Stuck in traffic during rush hour 710 merge

 710 to 405 merge view

 Made it there!

 Yee-uchk! what happened to my rock band?

 Wanted this Batwest real bad, but he was 99 bucks and I could not do it (yet, but I will soon).

Bought a Hamburglar Doll (must be a re-issue of some kind, creepy, and I dig it.) Bought a Jack Kirby Big Barda New God woman figure I have wanted for some time now. Bought some new buttons and Green Lantern power rings to add to my growing collection.... on the way out I picked up an oc weekly with my old rock band turned football team on the cover... next time I will get that Batwest! Read some bad reviews about this place where one guy was moanig about the font size on the ad signs.... I hope they stay around, I have been going here over 20 years now and always have fun when I go. Never get hassled by the folks who work there and they always help when I have questions on what I am getting. (I guess some obsessed comic guys expect them to know about everything they have in the shop. I got great service here.) I had fun. I love this shop!

Cleaning the Studio

I was cleaning the studio today and this time I am trying to really getting it to look right. I picked a corner and started in on re-organizing one set of display shelves. Along this journey I found and old skull I started about the time I got the desire to be a Kustom Culture painter after seeing the first Kustom Culture show at Laguna Art Museum about 91 I think? I started it way back then and it sat unfinished until today. It took me 20 years! I don't know what kind of art I make now, but I don't know how many more skully type things I got left in me. Every time I think no more Kustom Culture it creeps back in. I did just watch the Robert Williams movie Mr. Bitchen and it did not really capture how outside this art really was then. Then it was yet to explode. I think Robert deserved a better documentary, but at least he has one finally. This skull I did had my "Old" apprentice hand in it, and obvious nods to the trinity of Bob, Roth and Dutch. The wings are kinda lame, but that was as good as I was then. The eyeball has my fine lines I did way back then and the new work has the new flow going. The studio is far from done, but when I finish I will post the new look here. Pretty fun to see this done at last. Had lot of dust moving around the studio and I did not want to change things up too much as to throw off the mojo it has now, but change is good and it's time to move forward a bit. I made a small pile of salvage to chuck too. Tomorrow I work on it more. Good day of work.

Searching, Adventures, Healing and Growth

Sometimes life hits you with things you have no control over. Loved ones need you and sometimes they leave for the next life. It happens. It takes a part of you with it when it does. Most times when you begin to heal you begin to find who you are, and realize the love you gave is about to return to you. One of my things in life that I live for is to find inspiration. I find it mostly in little things that I see something of myself in. I collect things that give me joy and sometimes I pass them on to others who need them more than myself. Over the years I have made a good collection of toys, books, art supplies and musical instruments. This is my formula that works for me. Some folks like other things. In America we are made to feel we need big things and lots of it. Not many understand my collecting. Some call it hording. Which I can say that some times I have this tendency to over do it now and then. When that happens I sometimes get overwhelmed and feel the weight of my things. My wife often helps me get back to a reasonable stash of objects and helps me organize my things and my well being. Without her I would no doubt be alone in a sea of clutter. She brings value to most everything I have or make. Together (with the help of our families and pets) we make things grow. I have my art. She has her kids at school and her garden. Sometimes we hunt for things at flea markets together, but mostly we love to stay home. Recently I was on a bit of a low and wound up for the first time in a very long time at an actual toy store (not just a comic book shop). I looked at all the new things and found one or two that I liked. Some toys were made to appeal to my generation. I was not really there to buy, but to heal myself. It was like being sea sick on a boat. Sometimes things make you dizzy and ill and now and then the air will hit you right and you feel great. I took my time and enjoyed just the moment and being there. Some days just the trip to the destination is the most important part of the trip. This time I did buy something to mark this time of my life. That is what I will see in what I bought this day. It may find a new home one day but for now it holds a moment for me. Things are just things but some times things remind us of where we have been and sometimes a new thing can give you hope for the future. I watched Wes Andersen's Life Aquatic today. It gave me inspiration for this post. It is full of G.I Joe and Jacques Cousteau reference. It brought me back to younger days when I was much more active which is where I need to get next on my new healthier path. Time has happened. I may not get back in the ocean like I did when I was young, but I can ride my bike by the beach. I am sure I will have new adventures and growth if I do. I have been making small steps to get back to new discoveries. I have an elliptical wheel at home by the couch that I pedal for a bit each day. I have been walking at work around the warehouses when I am there. I have found a few rocks and pine cones etc...(a new collection? I used them to decorate my shoppe) when I walk. I am building to get better at riding my bike (I have lost a bit of weight and now my balance and strength are a bit off) and going for walks with my dog. I had a big goal to ride my bike in the Long Beach Marathon this year, but I may not make it this year. That is o.k. It is a good goal, but maybe it is too big right now. I forgive myself for possibly not being able to make it this year. Maybe next year, but for now I have set smaller goals and continue to improve. People have talked to me at my time of weakness this last few weeks and sometimes a word or two had temporarily set me back, but with the help and understanding from other friends and support groups I did not let it stop me. I am back on track and committed to moving on to better days. Some days when I pedal that wheel I imagine the places I will one day be riding my bike. Maybe the beach. Maybe a park. Maybe just down the block. I see me and my dog walking down the block one day and bonding over it. Some day maybe the wife, dog and me.... walking and watching the sunset and breathing fresh air. Baby steps first. My thanks for all of your continued support and kind words of encouragement. I am very grateful for all of the love. Ciao for now -Scott

Sounds of Laughter...

I have been working on my second book with Jack Grisham from TSOL. Many people have said things about him because of his opinions and his past life to me. Here's what I can say about Jack (my thoughts...) I have not read American Demon yet and I may not because the Jack I have come to know is responsible, dependable, supportive and loyal. Maybe his past was different. TSOL was a dangerous band. True. I struggled in high school and searched for signs of life. I found some relief when I stole money from my mom's purse to buy discounted punk records. One was "Dance with me" by TSOL. It told a story of secret agents facing death every day and have sex with a dead girl because the girls at school would not give you the time of day. One song called "Sound of Laughter" really struck a note with me. I got laughed at for being overweight at school. It made me feel alone. I did have friends, but many of them did not have weight issues. One or two of my friends understood and rallied to the message of punk rock which was that you can change you future no matter what people tell you. Learn to question what is told to you and it does not matter what you look like, but who you are inside. The words to this song:

I can hear the sounds of laughter

Could it be they're laughing at me
I can hear the roar of thunder
I'm mad, I'm deranged

I see clown in costumes voices that carry
Their message to my mind
I'm like a child so young and carefree
My eyes see what they want to see

Lights are flashing, the colors are blurring
There are patterns in my mind
Things are hidden to the world around me
But still they say I'm blind

They wrap me up in a web of lies
Meet the man who's locked inside
I'm too many people in too many places
I've a split personality

I can hear the sounds of laughter
Could it be they're laughing at me
I can hear the roar of thunder
I'm mad, I'm deranged

I see clown in costumes voices that carry
Their message to my mind
I'm like a child so young and carefree
My eyes see what they want to see

This was poetry to me. It seems natural to me that Jack is writing books now. There is controversy today about a lady on a game show who lost too much weight. It's a game show folks. Don't trust TV. Don't let anyone tell you what you need to look like. What if they ARE laughing at you? Can YOU laugh at yourself? Life is pretty funny. I have this new sagging skin I call "Emperor Skin" after the Emperor from star wars. (...are you laughing at me now or with me? are you laughing? was that not funny? are we not men?) Go for a walk in the fresh air while you still have lungs to breathe and legs to walk and we still have air to breathe. (This I say to myself) Pet you dog or cat. They will not judge you. Use your sonic reducer and your bullshit detector... for the love of Joe Strummer!.... and don't believe the hype! (this I say to myself!) Drink your coffee while we still have beans! Relax... but don't get to cozy. Stand up sit down, drop and give me 20 soldier... go team! Forgive yourself! You can do it.
Last night in my health class I admitted I had got comforable and was going back to my old eating habits. My instructor told me to take 5 minutes of "Me" time when I got home and use my elpitcal wheel. I set it up in front of the TV and did it while I sat on the couch when I got home and did 11 minutes because once I got going it was easier than I thought. I did 8 more minutes this morning and now I am going to take the sweaters and jackets off my bike that I have been using as a coat rack I ride it down the block for a minute or two. Caio for now!